Squad 5
- Five adjacent stations, wired
- Shared team table in the aisle
- Your letter pinned to the row
- Snack pause — food sold separately, honestly
The royal court of LAN parties.
LANLORD is a computer club built for the big night in: long rows of stations facing each other, a shared scoreboard on the wall, team pennants strung under the ceiling, and one weekly crown for the stack that plays best. Book by the hour, bring your squad, leave with a line in the hall of fame.
HONOR · HEADSHOTS · HOSPITALITY
Twenty-four stations, laid out as two long rows that stare each other down across a centre aisle. That layout is the whole point of a LAN party computer club — you can see the other team flinch, hear the row erupt, and read the shared scoreboard bolted above the aisle. Past pennants hang overhead, one per stack that ever took a crown here.
Blue team on the left, red on the right, aisle in the middle. Wired network, quiet keyboards for the sleepers, and enough desk for a full peripheral spread.
Every round posts to the wall screen the whole hall can read. Points, not bragging, settle who is climbing and who is about to be dethroned.
RALLY · SEAT · PLAY
Pick a pack by how many chairs you need. Every pack is booked by the hour, seats a named squad, and pins your team letter on the row for the night. Snacks and drinks are sold at the counter — we keep them off the price so the number you see is the number you pay.
GLORY IS THE CURRENCY
Every week the hall keeps a running tally. Each match a stack wins adds points to their name on the wall, and on the last night of the week the top stack is crowned. The reward is not money — it is the two trophy chairs at the head of the aisle for their next visit, a printed pennant hung in the rafters, and a golden line on the hall of fame below. The crown itself is painted cardboard; wearing it is mandatory, mockery is included, and the record stands until someone plays it off them.
| Rank | Stack | Points |
|---|---|---|
| First place 1 | Aisle Wraiths | 4,820 |
| 2 | Cold Boot Kings | 4,155 |
| 3 | Ping of Salvador | 3,970 |
| 4 | Row Nine Regulars | 3,540 |
THE HOUSE RULES, SEALED
Three rules keep the hall friendly. They are written as decrees because it is funnier, but the front desk enforces them like they are law. Break them and the crown skips you next week.
Respect another player's setup. Do not touch a neighbour's peripherals, chair or cables. The aisle is for taunts, not for reaching across.
If you won, clear your table. Cans, wrappers and loaner headsets go back before you leave. Champions who leave a mess forfeit their golden line.
The crown returns on Friday. Whoever holds it brings it back for the next crowning, cardboard intact, so the hall can play for it again.
NIGHTS ON THE RECORD
A short log of recent nights in the hall — who came, who climbed, and how the crown changed hands. The heralds keep it so no one can rewrite a scoreline after the fact.
Aisle Wraiths edged Cold Boot Kings 4,820 to 4,155 across nine rounds. The lead flipped four times before the last match, and the crown moved a whole row over from where it started the night.
Two ten-player clashes ran back to back. Ping of Salvador took the early slot 3,970 to 3,120, then held their captain seats through the late block to bank a third-place line.
Eight small squads shared the hall on an open booking. Row Nine Regulars stacked 3,540 points across scattered matches — proof you do not need the full court to reach the hall of fame.
BANNERS & BODIES
Three frames from the hall on a busy night — the rows lit up, a full lounge corner, and the trophy chairs waiting for the next crown.
ASK THE HERALD
Five captains and their picks fill our Squad 5 pack, but smaller crews are welcome too. Book single hourly seats and we place you together in the great hall so you still get the row-versus-row feel of a proper LAN night.
Yes. Bring a banner and the heralds will hang it over your row for the night. Stacks that take a crown also earn a printed pennant that stays in the rafters with every other winning team's colours.
Loud when a round tips, quiet between matches. Every station has a headset so game audio stays on your ears, the ceiling is treated for sound, and the front desk keeps neighbouring rows from bleeding into each other.
A Full court holds all twenty-four stations for a four-hour block, and you can extend by the hour as long as seats after you stay free. Weekend blocks run later into the night than weekday ones.
Honestly, yes — it is painted cardboard and it has survived a lot of nights. What is real is the trophy chairs, the printed pennant and the golden line on the hall of fame that your points earn you.
SEND THE WORD, WE HANG THE BANNERS
Pick a pack, a date and whether you want in on the crowning run. Send it over and a herald confirms your row.